During early “get-to-know-you” conversations, one of the first questions I asked was, “so, what kind of guys do you like?” If the girls I dated liked thoughtful and sensitive guys, I would reach down into the reservoirs of my soul and be more romantic, like Drake, because the Lord knows I’m far from it. If she told me she wanted a true gentlemen, I would be sure to open the car door and show table manners. If she wanted a tough guy, I would show her what thug-life was all about. I channeled my inner 2Pac and did what thugs did. I would drink a lot of bottled water, chew on tooth-picks, start fights and listen to the latest trap music. In addition to finding out what she liked, I would find out what she didn't like and made sure I avoided her pet peeves. If I didn't possess some of the qualities she liked, I moved on. I didn't try to force certain qualities because I knew I wouldn't be able to fake them for long. I was careful not to lie or to try to be something I was not, that would have been deceitful and impossible. If I did have qualities she liked, I was sure to express them early in our relationship.
When I first started dating Brittany, my wife, I knew she was a neat-freak, so I made sure my apartment was spic-and-span when she came to visit. It took so much out of me to keep my place clean. I've always felt like making a bed was the biggest waste of time next to folding clothes. Brittany liked for things to be in order, and I liked her, so, I was willing to sacrifice my time cleaning up in order to convince her that I was the guy of her dreams. If only I could fake it long enough, she would fall in love with me and forget about the superficial things that would've stopped her from dating me in the first place. We eventually moved in together and my true colors began to show. We got into many arguments because I wouldn't clean up after myself. I eventually got it together because I hated nagging more than I hated cleaning. I had a few more bad habits she didn't like, so I hid them until I knew she was there to stay. It may sound misleading, but this is how humans date. We all put our best foot forward when we meet someone we really like. We showcase our good qualities and suppress our not-so-good qualities until it’s safe enough to be ourselves.
Finding a job you really like is no different. Employers always tell us exactly what they’re looking for in potential employees. Every job description list roles and responsibilities for the position posted. Many postings even have a list of minimum qualifications and desired qualifications. It’s imperative that we pay close attention to the qualities employers seek in order to show them that we're exactly what they’re looking for. If you do a good job at this, they will ask you out on a first date, or interview. During the first date, it’s your job to showcase your positive qualities to convince the employer to continue dating you and eventually propose to you by offering you the job.
The problem young professionals run into is that they never truly learned how to date, and have the slightest clue as to how to find a good job. The result is that we settle for less in our mates and in our careers. In other words, we take what we can get.
Below are a few tips that may help you in your job search, and maybe even in dating.
When you are applying to jobs, you should always use the same language found in the job description in your cover letter and resume. The primary qualifications of the job should be emphasized somewhere in your application documents. This is why it’s vitally important not to use the exact same cover letter and resume to apply to multiple jobs. Similar to the people you’re dating, companies like to feel special, and it’s impossible to stroke their ego by submitting a generic cover letter and resume. Make it personal, make it unique.
Connect your story with their story. Fortunately, tons of information can be found about any company you’re interested in working for. You can find about 90% of the information you need to know on the web. You can gather information from current and ex-employees. You can even have first-hand experiences with companies by visiting their establishments. You should use this information to find out what they’re looking for in job candidates. But you should also use that information to determine if you want to fall in love with that company as well. If it’s not a good fit, save yourself some time and stop dating immediately.
If you are looking for a date or new job, you need to be more attractive. You are more desirable if you are already dating, this is especially true when you’re married for some odd reason. If you have a job, employers believe you have certain desirable qualities, many of which they desire as well.
Another way to make yourself more attractive in the job search is to gain new skills. If a particular industry or organization values certain skills, you should do your best to develop those skills. The more rare the skills, the more attractive you are to an employee. Every person born after 1975 should be proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, so there’s no need to include this on your resume, it’s already assumed. Nowadays, to be more attractive, you need to be proficient in Photoshop, Final Cut Pro, HTML, C++, Dreamweaver, and the like. These are the kind of qualities that make you more attractive.
If more young professionals treated the job search like dating, looking for a job would come a lot more naturally and become a lot less stressful.